Response to Letter on Same-Sex Marriage and Children

Not published in the Howard County Times:

Barbara Currano’s letter (“Same-sex marriage amounts to experimenting on children,” September 6) reflects bias and ignorance used by individuals and institutions in an effort to deny civil benefits, rights and responsibilities for same-sex couples.  She states “Same-sex couples cannot naturally produce a child.  If they have a child, there is a surrogate mother or sperm donor father deliberately disconnected from the child for the benefit of adults, not the child, as in adoption.” 

It appears that Ms. Currano is unaware that there are literally thousands of same-sex couples are raising children that are not born through those means. Many couples are raising children from previous relationships.  Even  those couples who produce children from surrogacy because they want to have a family, so what?   Every child should be treated by society with respect and love, not disdain. 

Secondly, to suggest that adoptions of children by same-sex couples are for the benefit of the adults, not the child is a tremendously harsh and ill-informed generalization. If Ms. Currano feels that children are better off in a foster care system, she should say so.   I am personally in touch with a number of same-sex couples who have adopted unwanted children.  I can attest unequivocally that those kids are as happy and well-adjusted and loved as any children raised by heterosexual parents. 

The only difference between children of same-sex couples, no matter the origin, and those from heterosexual married couples is the fact that children with gay and lesbian parents lack the legal and financial protections of their counterparts.  Civil marriage would correct that deficiency.

Ms. Currano cites a study by University of Texas sociologist Mark Regnerus as evidence that children of same-sex couples have poorer outcomes when they become adults than those of in-tact heterosexual couples.   Regnerus was paid nearly $800,000 by the anti-gay Witherspoon Institute and Bradley Foundation to conduct the study calling into question any objectivity.  The Regnerus study has been widely debunked based on its faulty methodology and findings. “It  doesn’t document the failure of same-sex marriage,” writes William Saletan.  “It documents the failure of the closeted, broken and unstable households that preceded same-sex marriage.”

The fact is, children regardless of whether they have heterosexual or same-sex parents will always do better if they live in a committed, stable and loving environment.  Civil marriage for same-sex couples with its accompanying legal and financial protections will only contribute to that stability.

Steve Charing