How Phelps' Hatred Backfired

I have to admit that when I first read the news that Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps died at 84, I was elated.  He was scum and inflicted pain on others. My first instinct was to organize pickets at his funeral (there was none as it turned out) with signs reading “God Hates Bigots” or “Thank God for Dead Haters” to return the favor for his church’s disgusting activities since 1998.  Few people can induce cheers from a death; Osama bin Laden is a recent example.

Then after my internal celebration cooled down I asked myself why should we stoop to his level as much as it would clearly give us a sense of satisfaction and vindication?      

Phelps’ death does provide us with the comfort that he will never be part of a tasteless protest at funerals and other events (he hasn’t personally since 2007) though his vile, extremist daughter will be sure to carry on the tradition.  He’s gone now, and hardly anyone I know shed a tear. 

But cheering his death and demonstrating visibly would not make us much better than him, if you think about it.  The LGBT community and its allies can rejoice in the fact that we have made historic strides in the overall quest for equality; progress is seen almost every day in the U.S. if not the world.  Part of this advancement can be attributed to the fact we are less likely to be viewed as some abstract, bizarre subgroup of society but everyday folks: teachers, farmers, police officers, lawyers, dentists, physicians, co-workers, neighbors, friends and family members.

Acting in the same way as Fred Phelps and his obnoxious followers (mostly family members) will not help further our cause and win over those people who are slow to come around.   While such release of emotion may be cathartic, it’s best to internalize it and let it be.  Hating is hating, and hate is never good.

But we can at least find solace in reflecting upon how Phelps had been an unwitting ally during our struggle.  Sure he wants us all dead (that’s going to happen anyway) and preaches that God is a vengeful God.  And his hateful language on his garish signs does not make for pleasant viewing.  Look past the idiocy and think of how he helped us in ways he never imagined.

When 21 year-old college student Matthew Shepard was murdered in Laramie, Wyo. in 1998, there was a chilling sadness among gays and lesbians as well as other sensible citizens.  Another brutal attack on a gay man. Another killing just because of who he was.   We’ve seen them before and we expected more to come.  There were, and still are, too many homophobes out to destroy us. 

The Shepard murder gained national attention because of this evil and heartless act committed by two losers, yet the horrific incident would have faded as other news, such as the Clinton impeachment, crowded out another gay bashing.  But enter Fred Phelps and his rag-tag brood of haters with signs picketing Shepard’s funeral and applauding his death.  They read: “Fags are Nature Freaks,” “Matt in Hell” and “God Hates Fags.”

People noticed this incredible display of insensitivity and hate and paused for a minute.  Who can this group be that could celebrate the vicious slaying of this waifish college student?  Who can add even more trauma and heartache to his grieving family?

The Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan. led by Pastor Fred Phelps managed to extend the news coverage of the Shepard murder by the hate-filled picketing.  People saw this crazy band of people as extremists, and decent-minded people, regardless of their stance on homosexuality, were sympathetic towards the Shepard family.

The compassion remained but it did not significantly change how people perceive gays and lesbians in America.  They saw Phelps and his church as outliers and moved on.  Then Phelps, et al, made the biggest mistake of all and ultimately caused a shift in people’s views towards the LGBT community.

Westboro started to picket the funerals of American soldiers who were killed in the war in Iraq.  They carried signs saying “Thank God for Dead Soldiers” and “God Hates Fags” among others.  The families and friends of these servicemen were outraged by the taunting.  As Phelps continued this practice repeatedly and winning a legal battle in the U.S. Supreme Court in 2011 over the right to free speech, more and more Americans had become furious over this brand of heinous extremism.

Phelps did not stop there.  They picketed hundreds of other funerals and events declaring God’s retribution for America’s acceptance of homosexuality and their gratitude for AIDS.  They even celebrated the deaths of the children in the Newtown, Conn. massacre.  How low is that?

The country continued to despise Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church.  Phelps’ hatred of gay people affected the masses whereby the enemy of my enemy was becoming their friend: gays.

A few years ago, Judy Shepard, who successfully crusaded to pass Federal hate crimes legislation that was named after her son, was asked about Phelps.  “Oh, we love Freddy,” she told LGBTQ Nation.  “If it wasn’t for him there would be no Matthew Shepard.”   She accurately pointed out that “Freddy” elevated Matthew and hate crimes in general to more prominence than would have otherwise.  Phelps’ extremism caused mainstream America to despise him, and as a result, they became more empathetic to the plight of LGBT folks. 

As for her reaction to Phelps’ demise, Judy issued the following statement: “Regarding the passing of Fred Phelps, [husband] Dennis and I know how solemn these moments are for anyone who loses a loved one. Out of respect for all people and our desire to erase hate, we’ve decided not to comment further.”

As many of us should, Judy took the high road.

Youth Are Showing Us the Way

By Steve Charing

The burst of energy displayed by the young people who participated in the protest of the homophobic, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church on March 30 was breathtaking. They demonstrated against the Fred Phelps-led hatemongers who had marked Towson High School for its Diversity Club and Gay-Straight Alliance. Phelps, himself, was absent, but a handful of his family members brandishing absurd, hate-filled slogans on their familiar placards did the deed.

Aside from students from the targeted school, kids from other high schools in the area as well as local colleges voiced their opposition to hate. And they did it loud and clear. Even straight "jocks" from Towson High School—a group that in years past wouldn’t ordinarily be expected to join forces with the pro-LGBT demonstrators—supported the cause openly.

While other groups participated, such as PFLAG, church organizations and an assortment of adults bent on social justice, the youth stole the show. They enthusiastically cheered at each passing car that honked its horn in support. They shouted down the Westboro clan on the other side of York Road. They publicly voiced their opposition against hate and expressed their affirmation towards love and equality. They support gay rights in all forms and did so with fervor.

All told, around 300 people overwhelmed the 6 Westboro crazies both in numbers and passion.

Back in November, there was a nationwide protest of the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Locally, a thousand people gathered outside Baltimore’s City Hall on a rain-threatened Saturday to plea for marriage equality and express their outrage aimed at the California results (photo).

There were many adults there to be sure, and a significant number of them were straight allies. But there were also plenty of college students who descended upon the War Memorial Plaza in clusters from all directions like an invading army. Waving colorful hand-made posters displaying pointed messages, these youthful protestors surprised even veterans of demonstrations of yore with their verve and commitment.

The center of gravity for LGBT politics and activism is steadily shifting to the youth. This is not just manifested by the increasing number of young LGBT people who are coming out at a faster rate than in previous generations. It has been bolstered by an astounding number of youth who simply shrug off the existence of LGBT people as no big deal.

Although much of these changing attitudes by straight youth can be attributed to their expanding exposure to lgbt peers, the more welcoming culture with which these people are in tune, reinforces their beliefs. For example, the role MTV has played for the past two decades in enlightening the youth of this country concerning LGBT issues cannot be understated.

The network’s programs routinely depict LGBT youth as ordinary people with the same family, social, economic and psychological issues facing all teenagers. This season’s run of Real World was so well done, that in the show’s later episodes, it was difficult to notice that the "house" included a gay man, a bisexual woman and a transgendered woman living with five straight peers.

The gay element eventually played a subordinate role when other weighty matters took over, like how one of the cast members was facing an uncertain future as he was recalled for another tour of duty in Iraq.

As the episodes rolled along each week, the ultimate conflicts weren’t between gay and straight and straight and transgender or even gay and transgender; they existed among each other regardless of who they were. Gay, bisexual, transgender? Oh yeah, so what.

This is the attitude that is prevailing among young people today. A straight kid may argue with a gay kid, but odds are, it has nothing to do with sexuality. Conflicts centered on sexual orientation do exist, of course, but to a lesser degree.

Of course, there still are incidents of bullying and epithets like "that’s so gay" in schools. But the trend is definitely moving in a favorable direction.

Politicians would be smart to take notice of these shifting attitudes. The youth have been swelling the voter ranks and affecting elections. The Obama phenomenon brought more young people into the political process than any time since the 1960’s.

Elected officials who experience trepidation about supporting equality based on gender identity or are skittish about conferring rights to same-sex couples are doing so at their peril. The old-time attitudes are dying off. The new generation of kids—gay and straight—will show us the way and those backward-thinking politicians the door.

Hundreds Protest Anti-gay Church

By Steve Charing

TOWSON, MD—An hour before the planned protest by representatives of the Westboro Baptist Church on March 30, there was relative quiet. An occasional airplane flew overhead, and the sound of the chilly wind gusts whipping through the leafless branches of the trees that surround Towson High School briefly interrupted the serenity.

The thousand or so students at the 60 year-old, brick and stone, 3-story structure were still in their classes anticipating the final bell. But it was not a normal school day on this particular Monday.

Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, which is notorious for its anti-gay, anti-American vitriol and led by its patriarch flame-thrower, Fred Phelps, chose Towson High School to unleash its toxic venom.

The extremist group targeted this school because, like so many other schools around the country, it has a gay-straight alliance or GSA. It also boasts a diversity club, and a website that emphasizes tolerance and diversity as part of the school’s mission statement.

When officials at Towson High learned of the impending Westboro protest, the school sought to minimize the students’ exposure to the predicted taunts and insults shouted at them by the extremists. School officials prepared the students and parents with a letter. Club meetings and sports practices were rearranged so that as many students as possible would not exit the building at the time of the Westboro demonstration.

Moreover, Baltimore County police were in full force and did not permit any demonstration within a few blocks of the school. The Westboro clan was forced to protest at the intersection of York Road and Hillside Avenue, so exiting students did not have to hear any rants that said they are doomed to hell and other such epithets.

In the meanwhile, counter-protests were being planned by a variety of groups. Among those were the Central Baltimore County Democratic Club, the new Baltimore County chapter of PFLAG, Bel Air Unitarian and The Presbytery of Baltimore.

In addition, area schools, such as Towson High School, Dulaney, Carver, and Friends School, as well as Towson University and Goucher College mobilized anti-hate demonstrators to protest the Westboro demonstration.

The six weary-looking Westboro bunch did their thing for over a half-hour. They paraded along the prescribed area carrying their usual assortment of scathing messages on sticks while under the watchful eyes of the police and Silent Witness—a group carrying rainbow umbrellas—who also acted as a peaceful buffer.

The pro-LGBT crowd on the other side of York Road was building with each passing minute. Many carried hand-made signs decrying hate and advocating unity and love. Students from nearby Towson University, an assortment of religious groups and curious onlookers joined the ranks and signaled their support for the anti-Westboro demonstrators. They lined the side of the road, for at least a two-block length.

This is what the Westboro group wanted: a reaction so strong that the media would cover it and give attention to their unpopular cause.

Marilyn, a member of PFLAG-Baltimore County who has a gay family member, hopes that the overwhelming opposition to the Westboro clan would help get rid of them. "Goodness, I hope that we are able to drive groups like this away from our whole country," she said. "We have to be here to respond to their hate. It’s evil, and we don’t want people to hear their message."

With each passing car that honked its horn in support of the counter-demonstrators on busy York Road, and there were scores of them, the mainly young crowd cheered loudly.

Bradley Bolin, the secretary of the Towson University Queer Student Union and a junior, was emboldened by the turnout. He mentioned that when he was in high school and he tried to start a GSA, he didn’t receive the level of support he would have liked from the community and local colleges. "Now that I’m in college I want to show my support for the youth and try to do something that’s right."

Bradley acknowledged that anti-protests give Westboro Baptist Church what they want. "I’m not concerned with what they want. I’m more concerned about the youth and what THEY want," he explained. "I want to stand up for the people who can’t fight by themselves."

As the Westboro group was nearing the end of their allotted time, amidst the honking horns and competing chants, a surge of Towson High School students eventually showed up following dismissal. These new forces swelled the crowd to near 300 according to some estimates.

"They [Westboro Baptist Church] have the right to protest," said Charlie, a senior at the school and is straight. "But nobody in the school supports their beliefs."

Joey, a straight junior at the school supports gay people and opposes those who spread hatred. Mike, also a junior and a member of the school’s wrestling team, says he has gay friends, and several of his fellow teammates joined in the counter-demonstration.

Another Towson High student Beth said "I don’t care what sex you like, everybody is equal and God loves everybody."

Hannah, who is also straight, says "Love is beautiful, and I don’t think anyone should protest against it. I knew there would be so many protesters on our side, but not their side."

And that certainly was the case on this otherwise chilly, quiet Monday.