National Coming Out Day: A Personal Essay by Byron Macfarlane

 

I've been out and proud as a gay man for 19 years.

While I knew I was different, I think as early as 11 or 12, the 90's/early 2000's was not a great time to come out. I saw one of the only openly gay students in my high school bullied relentlessly. There were few role models in public life or pop culture. I knew even as a teenager that I would probably never be able to marry and have children, a "normal" life, so to speak. The only other gay man in my family was a great uncle, who was ostracized by my father's entire family, left the state never to return, and who I regrettably never got to know before he passed.

But eventually time was up for living in the closet. I just couldn't do it anymore. After college, I spent 16 months working in the Maryland General Assembly, and then began law school. I remember clearly it was right after orientation, I was home with my mom, who could tell - as only mothers can - that something was on my mind and I needed her. I did most of the crying, but she calmly and lovingly told me that I was her son and she loved me no matter what. My brother was similarly supportive. 

"I love being a gay man and the experiences it has given me in my life."

And fortunately, I had already chosen years prior to no longer involve my father and his family- racists, misogynists, and homophobes - in my life. To paraphrase Noxzema Jackson in To Wong Foo, their approval was neither desired nor required. And my friends were also largely supportive, along with members of my extended local Democratic political family. Over the years, I even found I have four cousins who are also openly queer and I'm so happy for them. 

I've had it easier than many, and I am grateful to my family, friends, and community for accepting me as I was made. I love being a gay man and the experiences it has given me in my life.

 No one should have to come out. I look forward to a future that has less of the oppressive heterosexism we have today - where it's assumed you're straight, you will marry, you will have children, you will check all of the "right boxes," unless you state otherwise (and explain yourself) - and more of an open-minded, accepting, and loving world that I think can represent humanity at its best.

Until then, come out and just be you, if you can and you feel safe doing it. It's liberating. No more shame. No more pain. No more "I wonder what they'll think." Let them think whatever they want. The judgment of others about who you are is completely meaningless. What truly matters, what really means something, is choosing a life of honesty and authenticity and happiness in who you are.

Happy National Coming Out Day.

Byron Macfarlane, the first openly gay individual elected in Howard County, Md., has been the County’s Register of Wills for over 14 years and is seeking re-election. His website can be found here.

Howard County Exec Announces Plans for LGBTQIA+ Commission

Under the “People’s Tree” near the Columbia lakefront, Howard County (MD) Executive Calvin Ball announced at a press conference on June 22 the filing of legislation that would permanently establish the current LGBT Workgroup as a formal LGBTQIA+ Commission.

The new Commission would follow the work of the LGBTQ Workgroup launched in 2019 by County Executive Ball.

“This commission will help move Howard County forward and will identify best practices to affirm members of the gay and transgender community; recommend initiatives to support LGBTQIA+ families and children; and advise us on policy and programs that impact our gay and transgender community, and on how to improve outcomes for underserved and at-risk members of the LGBTQIA+ population,” said County Executive Ball in his opening remarks in front of a crowd that included members of the LGBTQ Workgroup, county employees, members of the county’s Human Rights Commissioners and LGBTQ activists and allies as well as elected officials, representatives and candidates.

He added, “The Commission will support, plan, and help execute events, like PRIDE, to celebrate and affirm our community.”

The plan requires the approval of the county council and will be filed in July.

The commission will have the following responsibilities:

 ·         Support efforts to organize, educate, and mobilize the LGBTQIA+ community through coalition building and coordination with allied individuals, groups and organizations;

 ·         Identify best practices to affirm members of the gay and transgender community;

 ·         Recommend initiatives to support LGBTQIA+ families and children; and

 ·         Advise the County on policy and programs that impact our gay and transgender community, and on how to improve outcomes for underserved and at-risk members of the LGBTQIA+ population.

 ·         Support, plan, and execute events, like PRIDE, to celebrate and affirm the community.

Besides County Executive Ball, speakers at the event included Yolanda Sonier, Administrator of the Office of Human Rights and Equity; Byron Macfarlane, Register of Wills; Bob Ford, Howard County Human Rights Commission; Jumel Howard, President of PFLAG- Howard County and community member Vicki Weiss Vivrette.

Later that evening,  the George Howard Building was bathed in rainbow-colored lights 

 ____

The texts of Calvin Ball’s remarks as well as those from some of the other speakers are shown below.

Good morning and happy PRIDE!

 It’s wonderful to be here today, surrounded by friends and familiar faces. We’ve been through a lot the past few years. The pandemic exacerbated a lot of the challenges already present in our community...and we were in an environment where our national leaders were fueling campaigns to make our LGBTQ residents feel like second-class citizens.

 Despite these tremendous obstacles—that, at times, seemed insurmountable, we’ve made progress over the past few years to establish thoughtful, inclusive, and affirming policies that allow all our residents to proudly be themselves and demonstrate that Howard County is a community where everyone is welcome.

 We’ve added a LGBTQ liaison for our public school system and increased mental health funding to support our students.

 We hosted our first ever PRIDE parade in 2019.

 And today, we continue to develop affirming resources for all our departments and service providers – so that all our residents feel seen.

 Despite the progress we’ve made here in Howard County, we’re seeing increasing attacks on gay and transgender equality across our country – and it’s naïve to think that those conversations will not impact our community.

 While Maryland offers many protections, it's legal in 29 states to fire employees just because they’re gay, and in 35 states because they’re transgender.

 It’s also legal in these states to deny housing to gay and transgender people.

That makes our work here even more important, to serve as a beacon and a model for other

communities on how to protect the equality of all our residents, and how to be inclusive and welcoming to all.

 Which brings me to why we’re here today...

 We’re filing legislation to PERMANENTLY establish our Howard County LGBTQ Workgroup as a formal LGBTQIA+ Commission, with the recognition that we needed to include the “I” for intersex, “A” for asexual and allies and the “+” to be a truly inclusive Commission for all.

 This commission will help move Howard County forward and will:

 *          Identify best practices to affirm members of the gay and transgender community;

*          Recommend initiatives to support LGBTQIA+ families and children; and

*          Advise us on policy and programs that impact our gay and transgender community, and on how to improve outcomes for underserved and at-risk members of the LGBTQIA+ population.

 Additionally, the Commission will support, plan, and help execute events, like PRIDE, to celebrate and affirm our community.

 I’d like to thank our Workgroup members, many who are here today, for your advocacy and work to improve the lives of our neighbors, family, and friends.

 Together, we take a major step, and I am hopeful the County Council will pass this legislation to make a positive, impactful difference in the lives of our LGBTQIA+ residents, in our community and our world. Thank you.

–Dr. Calvin Ball, County Executive

  ____

Today is a great day for Howard County’s LGBTQIA+ community and, indeed, for everyone who calls this county home. We’re here to celebrate the introduction of legislation that will give our community a permanent seat at the table and connect us in a lasting way with those who control the levers of government in our county whose decisions have a direct impact on our lives.

 Howard County and Maryland have always led the way on LGBTQ+ rights. From Howard County’s anti-discrimination law passed many decades ago, to hate crime and anti-discrimination laws at the state level, to Maryland becoming one of the first states to pass marriage equality – not by judicial fiat – but by popular vote. Our community and our allies have achieved so much, but we know our hard-fought rights are under siege as we speak.

Every day, our community evolves and grows. We discover new ways to understand ourselves and embrace living lives of honesty, authenticity, and happiness. This is all our community has ever wanted – a chance to seek a life of fulfillment and love without anyone putting barriers in our way. But as the rainbow coalition of queer people grows, as we gain allies among our families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers, there are forces at work, using more extreme tactics and rhetoric to hold us back.

But this is not Texas. This is not Carroll County. This is Howard County. Today, we are saying loud and clear that queer voices will be heard, we will have our say in our government, and we will have a seat at the table. We are sending a message, especially, to our young people, who need now more than ever to hear from those of us in positions of leadership, that we see them and will do everything we can to give them a safe, healthy, and nurturing environment to grow and achieve their potential.

I’ve always been proud to be a lifelong Howard Countian. But I’m especially proud today. Thank you to our County Executive for making this timely commitment – both as we celebrate Pride Month, and as we see rising hateful rhetoric in our country and in our county – and I am calling on all five members of our County Council to pass this legislation unanimously, in a bipartisan way, to make it absolutely clear that here, in this special place, every life has value and meaning, and yes, love trumps hate.

I’m honored to be here today and to serve as this county’s first openly LGBT+ elected official. I may be the first, but I certainly will not be the last.

–Byron Macfarlane, Register of Wills and first openly LGBTQ+ person to be elected in Howard County

 ____

 Good morning. My name is Bob Ford and my pronouns are he/him/his.

I am a commissioner on the Howard County Human Rights Commission, a member of COVE—the Coalition Opposing Violence and Extremism—and a member of the County Executive’s LGBTQ Workgroup.

We have recently witnessed a disturbing and alarming uptick in anti-LGBTQ legislation and incidents around the country. From a failed attempt to disrupt a Pride celebration in Idaho, to storming into a drag queen storytelling session in California, to over 200 bills in state legislatures aimed at stripping the rights of LGBTQ people especially trans kids—these are wake-up calls.

Moreover, at one political party’s convention in Texas this past weekend, language was added to their platform that “homosexuality is an abnormal lifestyle choice” and that party opposes “all efforts to validate transgender identity.”

In neighboring Carroll County, Pride flags in schools have been made illegal. Pride flags are being burned in other parts of the state.

To be clear, Howard County is not immune to anti-LGBTQ hate. As a commissioner on the Human Rights Commission and Chair of the Hate Bias Committee, I’ve been made aware of an increasing number of hate bias incidents. Unfortunately, privacy restrictions prevent me from discussing them.

A welcoming sign that featured a rainbow was chopped down and stolen from a Clarksville church.

We have seen a small but vocal group of parents whose goal is to ban books in libraries and schools that contain LGBTQ+ characters and themes, and push against any LGBTQ content in the schools’ curricula.

The LGBTQ+ community has made progress over the years but because of these distressing actions we
seem to be slipping back to the 1970s and 80s.  And lately the far right is using the word “groomers” to stoke more fear of LGBTQ+ people. This rhetoric leads directly to the increase of hatred and bullying in our schools and elsewhere, suicide as well as violence. We must be ready to thwart these efforts and call out hate when we see it.

An LGBTQIA+ Commission in Howard County would serve as a watchdog for these homophobic and transphobic actions. We would inform the county government of the needs of the LGBTQ community and make recommendations to the County Executive and Council for action if feasible.

Having an LGBTQ+ focus as part of the county’s government would raise awareness and would hopefully lead to measures to stem the tide of hate and inequality. Thank you.

–Bob Ford, Member of the Howard County Human Rights Commission 

 ____

 Good morning everyone I want to begin by thanking Dr. Ball and everyone else who has contributed to forming this important commission on behalf of the LGBTQ community. The work of this commission will help ensure a welcoming community for all of us in Howard County.

My name is Becki, and I am married to my wife Kirsten. We live in Elkridge and together with our co-parents raise two young boys and a rising college freshman. I am honored to serve on this commission, alongside several other community members and friends who have bravely advocated for the LGBTQ community, long before I ever came out, and often in the face of significant hate and discrimination.

When I think of what this commission and this work means to me, I think about the diversity of our community, each of us having our own unique experiences, identities, and perspectives.

What I hope to bring to the work of this commission is my perspective as a woman, who is married to another woman, and is parenting children in a blended family. What I hope to elevate is a better understanding that our identities as parents are not just about our sexual orientation, but sexual orientation is a key piece of our identity that should be recognized.

It is about teaching our children that love is love, that everyone deserves to give and receive love, and that they deserve to hear and read stories about families that look just like theirs. That our family should never feel ashamed for being proud of who we are.

Having grown up in a community that was not accepting or affirming, I know how important these messages are to our youth and neighbors. I hope this commission can bring folks together from all walks of life and encourage meaningful dialogue and progress. Thanks again to everyone who worked so hard to make this possible. I look forward to serving with you.

–Becki Weiss Vivrette, Community Member

____

In the LGBTQ community, there is a sense of labeling us as other, but that’s not always true. We’re your students and your teachers. We’re business owners, family members, and friends. We’re in the community that you live in as well.  

At the end of the day, we deserve to have not just a seat at the table, but our own table to sit at. 

A community like Howard County being able to provide the resources and support for people in the LGBTQ community to build that table and have this Commission and share what our actual concerns are with the community – rather than have the community decide what to deal with regarding us – it’s a very different feeling and a very positive feeling.”

– Jumel Howard, President of PFLAG Howard County.

 

____

As we close, Howard County prides itself on embracing people from all walks of life and treating them with dignity, respect, fairness and humanity.  However, there is still progress to be made.  

This was highlighted through the work of the LGBTQ+ Workgroup on ways that Howard County can improve.  

Personally, Working alongside the group taught me so much about the diverse needs of this non-monolithic community and I can say I’ve become a better ally and advocate.

The Office of Human Rights and Equity offers year-round workshops about Humanity and Activism, and we often hear from the community “I want to take action. But I don’t know where to begin.” And What can I do to be a better ally?  Well, here are a few steps you can take:

 *          Listen and be open-minded.

 *          Be inclusive. Don't make assumptions

*          Honor people’s chosen pronouns.

*          Believe and embody a spirit that all people should be treated equally, with dignity and respect.

*          Lastly, support this important legislation to ensure the voices of all our residents are being heard, feel welcomed, protected and have equitable opportunities

 Again, County Executive Ball thank you being a tireless civil and human rights champion and for taking the 1st step to establish the LGBTQIA+ Commission.

–Yolanda Sonnier, Office of Human Rights and Equity Administrator

Photo courtesy of Howard County Government

Welcoming Sign Stolen From Church in Howard County

If you drive east on Route 108 just beyond the River Hill Village Center in the Clarksville area of Howard County, Md. you can’t miss the 3 ft. by 6 ft. sign in front of the Linden Linthicum United Methodist Church. That sign boldly proclaimed, “EVERY ONE IS WELCOME HERE” with rainbow-colored decorations on it.

Well, you will miss it now, at least for the time being.

Apparently, not everyone buys into the message of inclusion. Under the cover of darkness on the night of February 24, a person or persons used a chainsaw to cut through the substantial wooden posts supporting the sign adjacent to the church located at 12101 Linden Linthicum Lane and removed it.

Gayle Annis-Forder, pastor of the roughly 500-member congregation church promptly took to the Clarksville Happenings group on Facebook—one that typically includes member posts requesting information on contractors, babysitters, lost pets and the like—to explain that it was not the church that took down the familiar sign but someone else had done the deed. She pointed out that the sign had been defaced last June and despite its unauthorized removal this time, “LLUMC still believes what the sign said, that everyone is welcome here.”

A whopping total of 300 reactions appeared along with 150 comments all supporting Pastor Gayle and the church and denouncing the act of vandalism, which was reported the next morning to Howard County Police. Many believe this act should be investigated as a hate crime.

Bob Ford, a member of the Howard County Human Rights Commission, stressed the importance of reporting hate bias incidents to the police. “Even if a crime is not committed, being the victim of racial, religious, ethnic or sexual orientation and gender identity slurs should be reported to the police as hate bias incidents,” Ford explains. “Data must be compiled by law enforcement concerning these incidents so that measures can be implemented to reduce them in the future.”

In this matter, however, a crime was committed as private property was vandalized and removed.

“I’ve always loved that sign, big, bright, and right up front for all to see,” Charlotte Gammel Wojcik posted as an example of the type of comments displayed in response to the incident. “I’m sorry some jackass ruined it. I hope you’ll replace it because I believe many who saw it felt supported, even if they never entered the church.”

Another comment was posted by Howard County Councilwoman Deb Jung whose district currently includes LLUMC.

“There is no doubt in my mind that you and your congregation live the values represented by your beautiful and welcoming sign. Reading these comments warms my heart knowing there are so many in our community who will not allow this to stand. We will replace the sign and it is my hope that we can make the sign replacement an event that will allow us all to come together and celebrate our love for one another. Later, Jung told me, “It was a despicable act of hate and vandalism.”

Janssen Evelyn, who is opposing Jung in the Democratic primary in that district, weighed in as well.

“The fact that someone went there with a chainsaw meant that they were intentional in their hate. We must be more intentional than that individual in our resolve and in our love. As a community, we must not accept hate. This is our watch, and we must show that everyone is welcome in our community.”

Pastor Gayle points out that although the sign contained rainbow colors, the welcoming message is not exclusively aimed at members of the LGBTQ+ community. She noted that members of that community would recognize the color scheme and understand that they are welcome. The message is broader, however. “LLUMC welcomes everybody.”  

Indeed, the church’s Statement of Values and Inclusion on the website reflects that point.

“As followers of Jesus, we the people of Linden Linthicum United Methodist Church are committed to welcoming and loving everyone as he did, without regard to ability, race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, family make-up or religion. We embrace the principles of love over hate, inclusion over bias, respect over prejudice, equality over bigotry, and caring for all. Therefore, we reject the targeted hate messages and exclusivist ideologies advocated by any group. Such messages are antithetical to the inclusive message of Jesus. We are committed to living out non-discriminating love in our lives, worship, study and service.”

Nonetheless, the LGBTQ+ community especially transgender kids have been under attack and would find this church a spiritual safe space for them and their family members to receive support. As an example of the assault on members of the community, Republican Senator from Florida, Rick Scott, laid out a widely panned agenda that says that there are only two genders, failing to acknowledge the reality of a gender identity spectrum. Moreover, Florida passed legislation dubbed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill whereby the subjects of sexual orientation and gender identity cannot be discussed in primary grade levels.

Recognizing these developments in Florida and Texas specifically, Becca Niburg, an immigration attorney and a candidate for the Maryland House of Delegates from Howard County, issued the following statement:

“The sign referenced states that all are welcome across a rainbow background, specifically signaling inclusion to those in the LGBTQ community. Especially under the backdrop of the governor of Texas persecuting Trans kids, the removal of the sign signifies hate and division in our community and those who perpetrated the destructive act should be punished to the full extent of the law both criminally and civilly. I stand with the LGBTQ community and the Church, ready to assist and support.”

Adds Byron Macfarlane, the County’s Register of Wills and the first openly gay elected official in Howard County, “This is a reminder that Howard County isn’t immune to criminal acts of hate and intolerance. We have to reject hate in all its forms, call it out when we see it, and stand together. Our amazing rainbow LGBTQ+ community and our tremendous allies, including so many faith partners, must remain vigilant and undeterred as we build enduring relationships based on love and solidarity. These criminals can take down a sign, but they’ll never stop the march to true and lasting equality.”

Pastor Gayle has been moved by the support she has received from the community and by other faith leaders in Howard County. She indicated a new sign will be ordered and a celebration outside the church whereby community members can join in and observe the new welcoming sign is under consideration.

Photo of sign prior to the incident courtesy of LLUMC

UPDATE FROM PASTOR GAYLE, 3/6/2022:

After Easter (which is the 17^th) We’re getting trees taken down on the 13^th to give a sight line, and don’t have the cameras up yet. The sign is ready and we just need to get the site prepared. This is all a lot more steps than it seemed it would be. It’s all good, though. People continue to be lovely.

 

HoCo Executive Shines Light on LGBTQ Pride Month

June has traditionally been LGBTQ Pride Month (originally called Gay Pride) ever since the Stonewall uprising in June 1969 that most historians credit as the birth of the modern gay rights movement. In Howard County, Maryland, the tradition continues.

On the evening of June 7 County Executive Dr. Calvin Ball read an executive proclamation recognizing June as LGBTQ+ Pride Month in the county. The event was witnessed by nearly two dozen diverse members of the county’s LGBTQ+ community and supportive allies who gathered in front of the George Howard Building—the seat of the county government—for the ceremonial proclamation reading.

County Executive Calvin Ball

****

Whereas… The LGBTQ+ community in Howard County is vibrant and growing with a mission to create ongoing opportunities for open dialogue about sexual orientation and gender questioning for those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer+; and

Whereas… Each resident deserves to be accepted with compassion, acknowledged for their contributions and inspired to celebrate life’s gifts within a safe and supportive community; and

Whereas… It is fitting for Howard County Government to recognize Pride Month as a way to support individual rights and reaffirm our commitment to inclusion, equality and justice for all.

Now therefore, I, … Calvin Ball, County Executive of Howard County, Maryland, do hereby proclaim

June 2021

Pride Month

In Howard County, Maryland

****

When the skies darkened following the ceremony, the Howard Building was alternately bathed in lights representing the colors of the rainbow, the familiar symbol of the LGBTQ+ community.

Howard County government has traditionally supported LGBTQ+ rights. In fact, it was the first jurisdiction in the state to pass a non-discrimination measure based on sexual orientation in 1973. And in 2011 it was among the first jurisdictions in the state to pass protections based on gender identity and expression.

In 2019, Howard County government co-sponsored the first ever LGBTQ+ Pride celebration in the county, which turned out to be a colossal success with some 10,000 attending. HoCo Pride will renew the festivities on October 9 after a year off because of the pandemic.

The significance of the proclamation presented by the County Executive was not lost on LGBTQ+ community leaders.

“This is a very important moment for the community,” says Jumel Howard, Chair of HoCo Pride, Vice President of PFLAG Howard County, and Regional Director of PFLAG Mid-Atlantic. “We are appreciative of the County Executive and his administration for being on the front lines in advocating for equity and inclusion for the LGBTQ+ community.”

Alisha Tronetti, a student at University of Maryland and a member of the HoCo Pride Steering Committee, points out, “Events like these are extremely important. The LGBTQ community is small and need the public display of support from county government.”

Others see this as an opportunity for progress beyond the symbolism of this recognition.

 “I’m grateful our county government has recognized Pride Month,” says Byron Macfarlane, the county’s Register of Wills and the first openly LGBTQ elected official in Howard County. “It sends a message that Howard County embraces the LGBTQ+ community and that hate has no home here.”

He adds, “I hope that beyond today’s proclamation, we’ll continue to break down barriers and stand in solidarity for true and meaningful equality in every aspect of the daily lives of our LGBTQ+ friends and neighbors.”

A video of the proceedings produced by the Office of the County Executive is shown here.

Four Decades Along the Rainbow Road

A look back at my work with the LGBTQ community.

I first became active in the gay rights movement in 1980 when I launched my LGBTQ journalism career. It was very clear to me that religion-inspired discrimination was not the only problem facing our community. That and the prevalence of hatred, violence and marginalization that exist even today got my attention.

While considerable progress was achieved over these four decades, much work still needs to be done regarding such areas as LGBTQ-related suicides, bullying of LGBTQ youth, foster care injustices, LGBTQ youth homelessness, violence directed at transgender individuals and other members of our community, discrimination against and harassment of the aging LGBTQ population, combating HIV/AIDS, among other issues.

Then there are problems stemming from inside the community. Racism is a significant concern. Divisions within the LGBTQ components are also palpable. I’ve always maintained and still do that we can never advance unless we are united. That is our number one challenge as we face a hostile president, a hostile vice president, a hostile attorney general, virtually all Republican members of Congress and potentially a hostile U.S. Supreme Court. 

Another challenge impeding progress has been a prevailing degree of apathy within our own community. My mission has been to educate those who are apathetic so that they understand the issues that affect them and help motivate these folks to be more engaged. Those who were and are currently active in these efforts still need to be informed so that they can be more effective in their activism.

Moreover, I have endeavored to shed light on those topics that have been relegated to the background, not covered in the mainstream media and not apparent to the average LGBTQ individual. 

I took on this journey for little or no monetary compensation to engage our community as well as our straight counterparts through Journalism, Activism and Education.  These areas are discussed below.

JOURNALISM

Over these four decades I had written well over 2,000 articles covering a wide swath of subjects

Fromer Equality Maryland Executive Director
Dan Furmansky addressing media outside Maryland Court
of Appeals following arguments on marriage equality

including hard news, commentary, the gut-wrenching struggle for marriage equality and transgender rights, politics all levels, a host of rallies and demonstrations, the all-too-sad vigils for fallen members of our community, culture, books, theatre, art, television, sports, travel, antiques and other areas as they pertain to or of special interest to members of our community.

I was an editor of the Baltimore Gay Paper, a subsidiary of the then Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore (now called The Pride Center of Maryland), and co-chair of the Newspaper Committee. Later, I became the Senior Political Analyst, Managing Editor and Local News Editor for Baltimore OUTloud. For a decade I was an opinion writer and ultimately wrote a weekly summary of LGBTQ news involving Baltimore and its surrounding suburbs for the Washington Blade—the oldest LGBTQ newspaper in the country and considered by many as “the paper of record.” I also provided a local news summary to Gay Life prior to its cessation.

Through this period I was an eyewitness to many of the significant developments with respect to LGBTQ matters—good and bad—on the national and local scenes. I spotlighted individuals and LGBTQ organizations that were instrumental in the growth of our community and who did good deeds. 

I have written about the unique issues facing bisexual individuals who rightly feel left behind. Accordingly,  I tried to publicize support groups that service the bisexual community. 

I also attempted to hold individuals and organizations accountable through my opinion-oriented OUTspoken column that was initiated while at Baltimore OUTloud and continues on this blog  today. My belief is that if organizations seek donations from our community, its leaders and governing bodies must be held accountable as to the manner in which resources are spent and safeguarded. At the same time, I made every effort to publicize and promote these organizations’ fundraisers, events and programs believing that the success of LGBTQ organizations only strengthens our community.

Sen President Mike Miller, Governor Martin O'Malley
and House of Delegates Speaker Michel Busch
at historic signing of marriage equality into law

While I covered the standard LGBTQ news, such as crime, gay bar openings and closings, many local Pride celebrations, key legislation at the national, state and local levels, dozens of published interviews of LGBTQ leaders and personalities as well as other newsworthy developments, I also reported on and written stories that I believe produced tangible, consequential results.

Examples:

♦ There was a story on three members of the Maryland House of Delegates who backed an amendment to the state constitution that would bar same-sex marriage. That by itself is not shocking. However, these three represented a district that includes Charles Village and surrounding neighborhoods that comprise the highest density of LGBTQ persons in the state, and their opposition was largely unknown to their LGBTQ constituents. 

One of these delegates, through an on-the-record interview with me, cited religious beliefs. Another claimed “gays were never helpful to me.” When the story was published on the front page of Baltimore OUTloud, I was told that their offices received a high volume of calls complaining about their stances. While one passed away prior to the legislature taking up marriage equality, the other two reversed their positions.

♦ Another story titled “Bodies for Bucks” focused on the police crackdown on male prostitutes and their “johns” in the Patterson Park area of Baltimore. With the help of a local attorney, I emphasized the legal jeopardy and physical dangers posed by this activity. Eventually, the hustling scene abated in this area and relationships between gays and the principal local community association improved significantly.

♦ In an investigative report, I had written about the homelessness crisis in Baltimore involving LGBTQ individuals. This group constituted a disproportionate share of the overall homeless and runaway population in the city with transgender individuals comprising an even more disproportionate share. 

The physical safety and health of these individuals are at risk as is the need to engage in criminal activity just to survive while the exposure to being victims of crime increased. This story may have had an indirect impact on the eventual establishment by AIRS/HOME of an apartment facility called Restoration Gardens in northwest Baltimore that houses homeless LGBTQ individuals.

♦ Then there were stories concerning open LGBT individuals who were running for office. Principal among these were Mary Washington who is now a State Senator and is a candidate for Mayor of Baltimore and was the first openly LGBT African-American elected official in Maryland and only the second such state legislator in the country; Luke Clippinger who is a State Delegate; and Byron Macfarlane who, when elected as Howard County Register of Wills, became the first openly LGBTQ person to be elected in Howard County.

The first legal same-sex marriages officiated at City Hall
on New Year's Day 2013

Each of these was profiled in front page coverage of their nascent candidacies in Baltimore OUTloud and have acknowledged that the stories helped galvanize support, monetary contributions and volunteers from our community for their ultimately successful campaigns. 

♦ Another was the revelation that the Harford County public school system in 2010 blocked LGBT websites from the schools’ computers. Public outrage resulting from this article led to the school board backing down.

♦ A report for the Washington Blade indicated that two individuals were attacked and robbed by a person using Grindr to lure them to a particular location in Baltimore. The article served notice to users of Grindr to be extra cautious in arranging liaisons.

♦ More recently and over a two year period, I wrote a half dozen articles on the emergence and progress of the first Pride celebration to take place in Howard County (HoCo Pride) as well as a media advisory and press release while being a member of the Pride Planning Committee. Clearly, the surprisingly large attendance at the first such event in 2019 was boosted by the publicity gained by these articles.

Other Highlights:

♦ Covering the historic signing ceremony in Annapolis after the bill legalizing same-sex marriage was passed the Maryland State General Assembly.

♦ Covering the first ever legal same-sex marriages in the state that took place in Baltimore City Hall.

♦ There was my story, also published in Outsports.com, about former Duke University basketball star JJ Reddick who was erroneously perceived as gay by some fans and how he, a devout Christian, handled that pressure.

♦ Covering the announcement of the closing of Baltimore’s iconic gay bar, the Club Hippo, as well as reporting on the establishment’s final events.

♦ Conducting an exclusive interview of a bartender who was on duty the night the Stonewall Inn was raided and whose account comports with more recent historical research.

♦ Breaking a story of an incident that took place in M&T Banks Stadium at a Ravens game in 2010 where two lesbians were ejected from the stadium because of what they believe was a result of kissing. The official explanation from security hired by the Ravens’ organization was that one of the members of the couple was accused of pilfering an empty paper cup at a concession stand. This explanation defied credulity, and the story received wide local and even national media attention.

♦ Writing about the emergence of a new LGBTQ community center in Frederick, Md. called The Frederick Center and highlighting its mission and how well the group is organized. While TFC does not have a dedicated physical space for their operations, they have managed to provide key programs for the LGBTQ community in and around Frederick and have demonstrated exceptional partnering with business leaders and government officials on many projects and goals.

♦ Exclusive coverage of several BMore Proud Leadership conferences whereby LGBTQ college students and allies from the Baltimore area convene to participate in workshops, listen to addresses by leaders and discuss common issues.

ACTIVISM

Participating in demonstration against homophobic
Westboro Baptist Church who was protesting near
Towson University

A prevailing rule is that either you are a journalist or an activist but you can’t be both. I ignored this rule as the times and issues dictated that direct action must be taken. There is no substitute for being on the front lines to fight for a cause.

Most of my activism occurred along with my partner who eventually became my spouse as member s of the PFLAG-Howard County chapter. While I was the chapter’s media coordinator and a member of the Steering Committee for several years, we were also members of the organization’s Advocacy Committee. My efforts focused largely on the quest to achieve marriage equality and codifying protections based on gender identity in Maryland.

Members of this committee engaged in discussions with local elected officials from both political parties. We told our stories and explained why marriage equality will not undermine the institution of marriage; in fact, it would strengthen it. Many of these politicians were sympathetic to the cause in that their hearts were with us, but some were hesitant because of the potential political risk it may cause. This was explicitly apparent during a one-on-one meeting I had with a U.S. Representative.

Appearing on the late Dennis Lane's (l.) podcast

Over time, and as we continued to share our stories and make strong arguments, most came around, and some emerged as strong vocal advocates. We were most appreciative of their evolution.

To bolster this effort, I participated in and covered just about all of the Lobby Day rallies and discussions with lawmakers in Annapolis that were organized by Equality Maryland.

I had testified on marriage equality before the Howard County delegation during a hearing on pending bills in the General Assembly and testified at a House of Delegates committee hearing on the same subject. I also appeared on a local podcast in 2011 hosted by the late Dennis Lane extolling the virtues of marriage equality just prior to a new General Assembly that was about to begin.

During the period the law that legalized same-sex marriage was challenged by a referendum, I participated in numerous rallies, fundraisers and events, most notably in an effort called the “Light Brigade.” This is where a bunch of us—mostly PFLAG members and supporters—held up lit panels with each representing a letter to spell out messages like “Vote Yes on (Question) 6” at overpasses and intersections in various areas of Maryland.

Still believing that the pen is mightier than the sword, I have written numerous letters to the editor on a variety of subjects related to the LGBTQ community. They were published in the Howard County Times/Columbia Flier, the City Paper, the Baltimore Sun, the Washington Post, USA Today, and TIME.  In addition, I wrote articles for The Business Monthly that highlighted the work of PFLAG.

I served on the previous County Executive’s LGBTQ Round Table and represented the LGBTQ community in the #OneHoward committee. In the latter capacity, I analyzed the county’s Master Aging Plan noting the absence of LGBTQ-specific issues regarding the aging population and, accordingly, no remedies to deal with those concerns.

EDUCATION

Presenting at BMore Proud Conference at JHU

My involvement with PFLAG has enabled me to help educate the community through coordinating a variety of programs for the chapter’s general monthly meetings. Among those I coordinated or led included a panel discussion on the intersection of Black and Gay; talks by the editors of the Washington Blade;  a panel on “Expanding Rainbow Families”; a discussion on ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’; Authors Night whereby LGBT authors discussed their latest works; and a panel on LGBT Homelessness.

As a member of PFLAG’s Speakers Bureau, I made presentations at Howard County government Diversity Day events, spoke at the Kennedy Krieger Institute, and spoke to employees at the Carroll County Times.  

I represented PFLAG at the GLSEN Youth Summit in Towson and the Howard County Leadership U, the Youth Development Coalition, Employment Day at Oakland Mills H.S. and Breaking the Silence Youth Summit.

Other speaking events:

♦ Addressed National Honor Society  students at a River Hill H.S. and students at Centennial H.S. on Diversity Day.

♦ Spoke at Baltimore City Community College, which was hosting a conference of statewide human resources managers.

Presenting at the GLSEN Youth Summit

♦ Made a presentation to Baltimore City 9^th grade history teachers at a diversity conference at Baltimore Polytechnic Institute.

♦ Participated with Equality Maryland staff to educate WMAR personnel on acceptable terminology in covering LGBT news.

♦ Appeared on a BlogTalkRadio program,

♦ On multiple occasions spoke before the Prime Timers of Baltimore.

♦ Presented at several collegiate BMore Proud conferences at Johns Hopkins University, U.M.B.C. and Stevenson University principally on the topic of how best to utilize the media to advocate on issues of interest and the role of and need for the LGBTQ press.

♦ Participated on numerous panels on LGBTQ issues. 

_______________________

My journey down the rainbow road has been, like most roads, smooth at times but also fraught with obstacles, potholes and detours. It has been worth it, however, and the main constant has been that my husband Bob Ford has been by my side with unrelenting support and attempted, with varying degrees of success, to keep me out of trouble. The journey continues.

________________________

As a postscript, I want to point out that I have written non-LGBTQ articles for other publications and sites.  They include:

♦ Writing about antiques in The Jeffersonian.

♦ Writing on a variety of subjects in The Business Monthly, such as eco-friendly and "green" building construction in Howard County,  the advent of women entrepreneurs, the emerging attention to financial literacy and others.

♦ Political commentary in JMore Magazine.  

♦ Theatre reviews for MD Theatre Guide, DC Theatre Scene and this blog.